How are you at crucial conversations? Crucial conversations are those situations in
which you are involved with others, in which the outcomes and the relationships
are at stake.
Just about every non-profit CEO has been in crucial
conversations. I remember one where 16 volunteer
and staff leaders came from various parts of the U.S. in an attempt to settle
and dispose of disputes between the parent organization and two of the
subsidiary component organizations. You
know the situation—it’s common in national and global associations. The meeting was important. The situation needed resolution, and all
affected parts of the organization needed to move on to other, positive
activities.
Fortunately, and due entirely to the positive and
constructive leadership of all 16 participants, we succeeded. It wasn’t easy, but it was important and we
reached unanimous agreement on all major points. That evening we had a “victory reception and
dinner”, complete with a signing of a Proclamation of Achievement and
Appreciation by all participants. They
say all’s well that ends well, and we made sure we ended very well, indeed.
There’s a great book that helps address crucial
conversations. Coincidentally, it’s
titled Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking when Stakes are High. Authors are Patterson, Grenny, McMillan and
Switzler, published in 2002 by McGraw Hill, and subsequently a New York Times
bestseller.
Building from their research on the subject, the authors
define these crucial conversations as those that “occur when there is a lot at
stake, when emotions are strong, and when opinions differ”. The authors suggest the importance in such
situations of having a clear sense of desired results (outcomes) as well as a
clear sense of the desired relationships when the crucial conversations are
concluded. This is not a situation in
which one may want to do ones thinking out loud!
You can Goggle the book notes or buy the book (or
both). You may be better prepared for
your next crucial conversation. Good
luck!
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