Last month we wrote about interviews and “Seven Questions That Can Kill Careers”. This month, let’s look at how you can lose your job in ten easy steps. We’re indebted to Kelly Eggers’ recent article from the Wall Street Journal, “Ten Things That Can Get You Fired”.
Of course, poor performance or antagonistic relationships are always causes for being fired. But there are more subtle ways. For example:
- Sick every Monday: According to Eggers’ article, frequently calling in sick on Monday is a good way to get your pink slip. Same goes for Fridays.
- Be disgusting: When one’s appearance and hygiene aren’t the best, this is a wonderfully effective way to collect unemployment checks. If this applies, your only option is to find a one-person office!
- Have it your way: Unless you are the Top Boss, it doesn’t pay to appear to be single-minded and critical of other’s ideas and work.
- Be Anonymous: This is the opposite of having it your own way. Keeping your head down and being invisible is a good way to not be remembered when it’s time to count heads and reduce staff.
- Criticize your boss with association members: This is my favorite. Members love gossip. Revealing your opinion of your boss as stupid, incompetent and a cheat to your non-profit members is like talking through an amplified microphone. It’s career suicide, even if you’re right!
What are the other ways to stand in the unemployment line? According to Eggers they are: 6) Lie on your employment application; 7) Be ungrateful; 8) Spend time with the organization’s complainers, non-performers and gossips; 9) Never take responsibility when things go wrong; and 10) Take credit for other people’s work.
If you’re looking for extra time for yourself this summer, give a couple of these a try!
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